Demi Mabry Photography, The Dairy Barn, Look Love Beauty, Finesse Band
I'm not sure if every girl did this, but I remember growing up thinking about my dream wedding day from a very young age. The vision I have for that day has evolved over time, but one thing remained true: my future husband wouldn't care about any of it. At least that's the narrative that was fed to me. My future husband would supposedly not care what it looked like, what happened, how it went, or anything like that. On the same token, I was under the impression that this day was ALL about me and I would have full control and say on all wedding decisions. I knew without a doubt that I wouldn't care what my fiancé wanted, because it frankly didn't matter.
WOAH.
Maybe that seems harsh to some of you, but that was what I was taught. It is now years later and I have a loving boyfriend who actually cares about some of the planning aspects and I suddenly find myself caring what he thinks too. A wedding day is about both individuals, so it's important that the day reflects both of our preferences. We are two different people with sometimes differing tastes, so how should we compromise when it comes time to make a final decision?
If I had one piece of advice for you, it would be to pick your battles. In order to reach a compromise that both of you can feel good about, you'll need to both first establish what matters most to you two. Some important aspects could include food, music, or certain traditions you want to incorporate. Once you establish a list of priorities, it's time to discuss your options. We've outlined some options below, including the happy medium of each category: aka the perfect compromise for differing opinions.
Band vs. DJ
Kate Supa Photography, 128 South, Eco Chic Blossoms, Active DJ Entertainment, High Performance Lighting, Tree Bird Photography
As wedding coordinators, we have witnessed countless DJ & Band performances at weddings... and we love BOTH. If you love live music like us, we'd recommend having live strings during your ceremony/cocktail hour for a band-like experience. Since ceremonies offer a more serious, formal vibe than receptions, live strings can help differentiate the two. Once cocktail hour ends, your contracted DJ can take over as the EmCee for announcing intros, dinner, and dancing. We'd also recommend considering your venue space and regulations regarding a stage, DJ booth, or string ensemble. Your planner will work with you and your venue to create a cohesive floor plan that flows well with the evening's events.
Beer & Wine vs. Full Bar
Emma Loo Photography, North Corner Haven, Mimi Eden Floral, Party Reflections
Offering a full open bar comes at a hefty price, so a great solution is to offer signature cocktails for cocktail hour (or all evening) and provide beer and wine. Signature cocktails can include your own personal favorite drinks or drinks that reflect the personality or theme of your wedding. Many couples love to incorporate their fur babies into the menu by naming drinks after them! There are so many ways to personalize your signature cocktails, elevating the bar experience for you and your guests.
First Look vs. Save It For The Aisle
Beca Hale Photography, Byron's South End, Vintage Soul Floral Design, NL Glam
A new tradition many couples are loving is having a first touch! This gives you the opportunity to share a private moment together before tying the knot to pray together, exchange notes, and just enjoy a simple touch from your soon-to-be spouse. This is a great compromise for couples who are split between saving the first look and wanting to calm their nerves before the ceremony.
Videographer vs. Live Painter
Demi Mabry Photography, Gina Strumpf Live Painter, The Dairy Barn
One of the most common "regrets" we hear from brides is that they wish they booked a videographer in addition to a photographer. However, there is a new trend taking over in the form of live painting, which has quickly become one of our favorite creative vendors. Live painters capture a single moment of your wedding day in a beautiful, detailed painting. You can find live painters online or on Instagram to sift through their portfolio of wedding paintings. Many of our couples have chosen this vendor option to capture their ceremony kiss, first dance, or other detail of their big day. If you're having trouble deciding, we'd recommend selecting a photographer/videographer bundle from the same company to save money. Then you can choose a smaller painting size to capture that special moment without breaking the bank.
Buffet vs. Plated Dinner
Lightbox Living Portraits, Willow Floral Boutique, Terrace at Cedar Hill, Party Reflections
We know the struggle: you want your guests to enjoy different food options with the formal experience of a plated meal. This is where stations come in. Stations provides the formal plated experience, without the long line of a buffet. With stations, you and your fiancé(e) would usually choose 3-4 delicious options for your guests. Since they're scattered around the room, guests can get up as they please to visit any station of their choosing with shorter lines. Station dining also provides the option of a hand carving station and servers for a more formal experience.
Tiered Cake vs. Desserts
Avonne Photography, Villiani's Bakery, Ritchie Hill
This might come as a surprise to some, but there are actually quite a few people who don't like cake! If you still want to enjoy the cake cutting tradition, or simply offer cake as an option to guests, we'd recommend choosing a 1 or 2-tier cake on the smaller end to pair with your delectable desserts. The smaller the cake, the lower the cost to you, so you can allocate more money to desserts you love. Some of our favorite wedding desserts include macarons, s'mores bars, cookies, mini brownie bites, and individually wrapped candies or gummies.
Outdoor vs. Indoor
Samantha Grigg Photography, Cedar Creek Ranch, Blushing Hair & Makeup, Click Away Photography, Byron's South End, Willow Floral Boutique, Party Reflections
One of the most challenging aspects of a wedding is the weather - there's no way of knowing what it will be like until about a week out (and sometimes even closer to your day). Planners (like us!) work with venues to finalize a rain backup plan for the ceremony/reception. If you're having trouble deciding on indoor or outdoor, we'd recommend choosing one option for your ceremony and one for your reception. Imagine both the best-case and worst-case scenario and decide from there.
Is a tented reception a dream or a catastrophe to you?
Is an indoor ceremony a dealbreaker?
Obviously, we pray fervently leading up to allll of our couples' big days for sunny skies and acclimate weather. BUT you just never know, which is why we plan for all circumstances. If we had to choose the ideal compromise, we'd suggest having an outdoor ceremony and an indoor reception. Outdoor ceremonies produce beautiful pictures and feel very natural and effortless. Indoor receptions are great because you don't have to worry about bugs, noise ordinances, or finding outlets for your DJ. Your catering staff will thank you, since indoor receptions are usually more convenient to serve, clean, and keep food warm. It's also a great option for dancing, because you and your guests can dance the night away in an air conditioned room!
Bold Color Palette vs. Neutral Color Palette
Connection Photography, Morning Glory Farms, New Creations Flowers, Party Reflections
Depending on the time of year, your wedding design and colors may reflect the bold colors of fall or crisp, fresh shades of spring. The perfect compromise for your wedding design starts with listing key design elements you'll incorporate. This could include table linens, napkins, utensils, flowers, chargers, stationery signs, lounge seating, and table scape decor. From there, you can sit down with your fiancé(e) and discuss which details are the most important to you. We'd recommend starting with a neutral base for your linens and then layer color choices with your design. We love meeting with our clients for design meetings to discuss all of these details and provide a visual presentation of the design. Florists also work with your inspiration photos and palette to create the perfect floral arrangements for your day; they truly have an eye for design.
Sweetheart vs. Head Table
Morgan Amanda Photography, Weddings with Barbara, Whitehead Manor, Party Reflections, Evermore Event Rentals
A sweetheart table offers a somewhat private dining experience where the bride and groom dine at their own table. A head table traditionally includes the entire bridal party facing in one direction, but we've seen it include seats on both sides for larger parties or to accommodate plus one's or dates. If you can't decide between the two, we'd recommend enjoying a private dinner before introductions. A private dinner gives you the chance to enjoy time with your new spouse before joining the reception. After eating, you can join your bridal party at the head table for toasts and dinner. For seating that stands out, some couples choose a velvet couch or loveseat to emphasize their seats at the head table.
Intimate Gathering vs. Large Wedding
Taylor Ann Photography, Cali Stott Artistry, Ribald Events, Ryan Barnett Photography, The Dairy Barn
The wedding industry has evolved a lot in the past year and a half to accommodate new regulations, preferences, and circumstances for clients. With that being said, your guest count will narrow down venue options and determine which one can accommodate your party. Many couples are choosing to host smaller ceremonies with family and close friends, but inviting larger numbers to a separate reception on a separate date entirely. Whether due to safety precautions or sentimental reasons, this is a great way to compromise and still achieve the party that you want!
Are there any that we missed? Comment below with your question or message us for advice :)